Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Chapter 21: Subconscious

Was there any single event that got you to start thinking differently about your life in The Compound?

Getting that job at the bookstore definitely started me down the path to noticing new things and possibilities I never would have considered or even believed. I always had Camo to get me to think about things, but seeing them for myself was always more effective.

Titanium has become more comfortable with Absolon ever since he hugged him on their walk. They've been hanging out on the weekends whenever Titanium has free time in between classes. Sometimes Camo and Verona come along, but today it's just Titanium and Absolon since Camo and Verona seem to have had a fight.

"Hi Absolon!"

Titanium's eyes light up as he sees Absolon waiting for him. Absolon smiles widely and waves at Titanium. They've decided to do something different today and go to a movie. Absolon is taking Titanium to his first R rated film. Titanium feels a twinge of excitement in his heart, and it shows on his face. He's smiling for the first time in a long time, he can't remember how long, and he's enjoying the environment they are in, even though he's just standing in line waiting for a ticket.

"Two for The Campaign, please."

Absolon buys tickets for him and Titanium and they walk to the inside of the theater to their seats. Titanium is in awe of the building because it looks so majestic to him with all of its fancy lights and high ceilings. The color is spectacular, he's so used to white walls and white floors with hardly any decorations. This building has posters on the walls that have their own lights, and he finds it beautiful. The boys seat themselves strategically in the middle of the theater since they've arrived a bit early so they could pick the best seats.

"What do you think so far, Titanium?"

"It's so big and beautiful."

People have been slowly filling the seats and the movie is ready to start. The lights dim down slowly and the movie screen shows a big sign that says Please Turn Your Cell Phones Off. Titanium notices Absolon pull out a shiny object that sort of looks like a walkie talkie, but it's different in that it doesn't have a big antenna or dials. He's never seen a cell phone before as he's not allowed to have one. As the movie progresses, Titanium feels Absolon's hand touch his arm and move down to his hand. Absolon intertwines his fingers in Titanium's and rests both of their hands on the arm rest that's between them. When the movie is over, Absolon and Titanium stand outside the theater talking for a little while.

"Did you like the movie, Titanium?"

"It was loud."

Absolon laughs and says, "That's the best part about a movie. You can get the whole surround sound experience."

"I did like it though, it made me laugh. Thank you for taking me."

Titanium won't say this to Absolon because he doesn't want to ruin the moment with any talk of The Compound, but he wonders why The Leader doesn't let him watch R rated movies. The movie he just saw was much more interesting than any of the movie choices he has at home. Titanium looks down at the concrete for a moment, and then Absolon's finger is on the bottom of his chin, gently pushing his face towards him.

"Hey, you should look up more, and not at the ground so much. You have beautiful eyes."

Titanium blushes and his heart flutters at Absolon's compliment.

"Sorry, I'm just so-"

Absolon's lips are suddenly on his, not too forceful, but touching enough that Titanium feels every point of contact from his face down to his toes. It's that electric feeling again, but this time it's so much more intense. He's shocked, but he likes what's happening.

I'm a little nervous as I wait outside of the therapist's office. It's my very first session and I'm not sure what to expect. I hope the therapist is nice and that he or she isn't one of those people who uses provoking as a means to get patients to talk. I am well aware that I have a bad temper, and I'd prefer it if I didn't feel threatened today. I'm going to try really hard though because I love how Andromeda is these days. I almost see a glimpse of the girl I married so long ago, the girl I fell in love with. She's smiling so much more, and I feel like she's a lot less lost to me than she was a few months back. A little panel outside the therapist's office buzzes, and the receptionist motions for me to go inside. When I open the door, a lady greets me.

"Hi Enigma. I'm Dr. Menios. How can I help you today?"

I shake her hand as I tell her that my wife sent me here. Dr. Menios smiles and tells me to have a seat.

"I have some unresolved issues regarding my son. I've never had a good relationship with him, and I'd like to see if I can start to build one."

"That's certainly a very healthy attitude, Enigma. Let me start with the reason you have issues with your son. Is he a troublemaker that just won't listen to you? Why does he make you upset?"

"I felt like my wife used him as an excuse to fix our relationship. She told me she had a void in her life after she lost her job, and I felt like she thought I wasn't enough for her, which hurt my feelings. She became really distant from me during her pregnancy and while he was growing up, so I felt like he took her away from me. I really love my wife, and the thought of anyone making me lose her angered me."

"All right, let me see if I am understanding you correctly. You and your wife had marital problems, and she took your relationship to the next level, which usually causes more problems than it solves, and made you feel inadequate. Then you took out your anger on your son because you felt like he was the cause of your distance from your wife."

"Yes, that's right."

"Enigma, how old is your son?"

"He's sixteen."

"You care more than you let on. You know how old he is. There was no hesitation on your part when I asked you that question. Most parents who are actually detached from their children can't answer that question immediately because they don't bother to pay attention. I know you said that you haven't had a good relationship with him ever, but subconsciously, you care."

I sit back on the couch and think for a minute about what Dr. Menios just said. I realize she's right. Maybe I'm just thinking in my head that I hate Absolon, even though my heart could be giving different signals, signals that I've never bothered to listen to until now.

"I never thought about that."

Dr. Menios smiles at me and jots something down on her notepad.

"I'd like you to do something before our next session, Enigma. I'd like you to talk to your son the next couple of days. I'm not expecting deep conversations, unless you feel you want to do that. Just say a few words to him every day, get to know him a little. He might be reluctant at first given your past with him, but he's probably wishing that you would like him. Every son needs a father's love, okay?"

I smile and nod at Dr. Menios. I feel pretty good right now, and wonder why I've been so blinded by my hate and anger for this long.

I'm at the beach, listening to the seagulls and the waves crashing against the shore, missing Camo with all my heart. Neither of us works today, so I probably won't see him at all. Daddy hires another crew to work the weekend shifts, while I hired my crew for weekday shifts. I jumped to conclusions the other day and I know I shouldn't have. I didn't really know what Camo was thinking. I shouldn't have assumed he thought the worst. I haven't had a serious relationship in a while, so I guess I'm out of practice at dealing with them. I just wanted to play, so I had a lot of flings. I am eighteen after all, it's the time to have fun. I guess Mother didn't like it because she hated all the 'low class' people I hooked up with and then she started heavily doing that medieval times matchmaking nonsense. Camo makes me feel different though, I can't remember the last time I'd been so sad after an argument. The norm would be my fling and I would fight over something stupid and I'd dump him. This fight has only been going on for one day, if that, and I've been crying my eyes out. It's killing me that he was so angry at me, and the thought that I hurt him makes the tears gush from my eyes like a waterfall. I know I'd be heartbroken if I lost him.

Camo gives me butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me, hell, even when he's in the same room as me, I get weak in the knees. When he touches me, I can feel it not only on my skin, but in my soul. It's such a gentle touch, like an angel, and I feel so safe with him. I feel a tear rolling down my face again as I think of the possibility that he might not ever touch me again. The passion I shared with him the other night was better than all my flings put together. I guess it really is true, when you love someone, the sex is so much better. Oh crap, I do love him, and now he's gone. I'm glad I am alone here because my face is all wet now as I'm sobbing so hard. Maybe I should just go for a swim, then my face would be all wet and no one would know my heart is breaking. I'm crying so hard that I don't even hear the footsteps that approach me, but when the person talks, I know instantly who it is.

"Verona? Don't cry."

"Camo? Holy fuck, I thought you hated me! I missed you so much!"

I run to Camo with so much force that he almost falls over and hug him with everything I have. He regains his footing and wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly. He starts rubbing my back trying to comfort me.

"I don't hate you, Verona, and I missed you too. I couldn't stop thinking about you and your face when I left work that day. I came to the beach because it reminded me of you, and since we don't work today I wanted to somehow be near you. I didn't know I would be so lucky to actually find you here."

Holy crap, does he even know how romantic he sounds right now? I can only guess that since he's forced to have sex with random people that he has no idea what romance is, but he's doing it subconsciously. He must have feelings for me. I so hope that he loves me too. I continue crying uncontrollably into his shirt, the difference being that now there's a mix of happy and sad tears. Why is he wearing a shirt with his swim trunks? It's not the 1900s. Ooh, who cares Verona? Focus! He's here and that's all that matters right now.

"Why were you so angry the other day?"

I manage to spit out a few words in between sobs.

"I'm so sorry I acted like that. I had a terrible morning, and I don't know why, but seeing Absolon get out of the car with you made me angrier than I already was."

"Are you jealous, Camo? You don't have to be, I am not doing anything with Absolon. I like you, not him."


"Yeah, when someone has something you wish you had, you get jealous of them. It can result in anger towards the person."

I feel Camo start pulling away from me and the look on his face tells me he's confused. He looks into my eyes and scratches his head. I guess he really didn't know why he was mad at me.

"Yes, I suppose I was. What you described is how I felt. I wished I was in your car with you, only because I like it when you are with me. When I saw your face after I yelled at you in the break room, I immediately felt bad, but I was too upset to fix it right then and there, not to mention I didn't know how to fix it so you would smile again. I am so sorry, Verona. Are you okay?"

"I am now that you're here. I was so scared you weren't ever going to talk to me again. I thought I lost you forever, especially when you said that thing about me spying on you. I'd never spy on you."

"Shit, I said that, didn't I? My shelter has really strict rules, and people are always tattling on each other. When I'm there, it's like everybody literally is spying on me, waiting for what I'm going to do wrong so they can go tell. It's made me quite paranoid. I know you would never do something like that."

"Camo? Can I learn more about your life? I don't understand a lot of things that you tell me, and I'd like to try to."

"Yeah, sure, but can we go in the water and talk? I love being in the water."

Camo takes my hand and we walk into the water. I squeeze his hand to make sure I'm not dreaming, that he really did come back to me, and when he squeezes back, I'm sure.

Credit: Mypalsim's Poses for Sims 3


  1. Aw everybody is trying so hard... I love Camo's new hair, btw. But I really wonder how Enigma is supposed to talk to Abs as he most likely has no idea where he lives now o.O

    1. Thanks! I love Camo's new hair too! Hmm.. Enigma was supposed to be a flashback...I wondered if the time difference would eventually confuse people.

      The Enigma/Andromeda/Absolon story is supposed to be a flashback to when Absolon was a teenager, sixteen to be exact because I'm trying to tell the story of how Andromeda got involved with the Compound. Don't know if you've noticed but any time Absolon is pictured when he's with his parents, he has the hairstyle from Chapter 5, where he saw Titanium at the beach. He was a teenager then.

      Absolon's punky/guyliner style is when he's eighteen and he left his parent's house, his mom had gone somewhere else, and it was just him and his dad.

      So to answer your question, Absolon was still living with his parents during the time Enigma was in therapy.
      Thanks for pointing that out, I will have to make it clearer in later chapters whenever I do an Enigma/Andromeda/teenage Absolon thing. :)

      Thank you so much for reading and always commenting! :)

  2. Oh good, several ways of people on the road to recovery.
    Yeah, Enigma is going to have search for his son if he wants to find him.
    Wow, Titanium and Absolon. <3
    I'm so glad Camo and Verona patched things up. Maybe the more he tells her about his life, the more she can tell him that it doesn't have to be that way.

    1. :) It's definitely going better for everyone right now.

      Enigma's segment was supposed to be a two years ago flashback because that whole story line is explaining how Andromeda became involved with The Compound. Don't know if you've noticed but any time Absolon is pictured with his parents, he's got the hair from Chapter 5, which is when he was sixteen. So bottom line, Absolon was still living with his parents during the time Enigma was in therapy.

      Absolon's punky/guyliner style is when he's eighteen and he moved out.

      Sorry if that was confusing, I'm going to make it clearer now in future chapters since people are mentioning it. :)
      Camo and Verona are very good for each other because they help each other.

      Thanks for reading and always commenting!

  3. Oh, so much squee.
    Squee for Titanium and Absolon's first date and first kiss. Titanium is like a lotus flower, rising out of the dark waters and opening up to blossom on the surface.
    Squee for Camo being such a romantic. I'm so so happy he ran into Verona on the beach and they are talking about what happened. I really love them as a couple.
    And I'm glad to see Enigma really trying. I was afraid he might shut himself up during therapy instead of engaging in it, but it looks like he really does want to make a change and is going to put the effort into it. Hopefully he'll remember Dr.Menios' advice when Absolon rejects his first attempts to work on the relationship. After growing up rejected by his father, I'm sure Absolon won't be ready to trust him right away.

    Great chapter!

    1. Yay! I'm glad you liked this. I wanted to put in a happy chapter since the previous one was like an explosion of sadness. LOL.
      Your lotus flower thing was cool... :) Titanium is finally realizing things can be better for him and he doesn't have to be so afraid of everything.
      I loved writing Camo and Verona especially since Camo is naturally so nice but he doesn't know it cause everyone in The Compound tells him he's a jerk.
      Enigma is trying hard. He had built up this wall when his marital problems started and he didn't know how to fix it so it just kept getting worse. Hopefully he'll keep up this change of attitude. :)

      Thanks for reading and always commenting! :)

  4. Whoa, Camo.. What's up, from outta town? Wanna come over for a little bit and hang out, or....? Lmao love his new hair!
    I loved reading about Titan and Abs seeing the movie together, and when Abs held his hand during the movie? *melts* So cute! They finally kissed, too! Yayyy
    I'm also SO glad that Camo just happened to walk to the beach and Verona was already there. I love that they made up, too. I like that both Titan and Camo are teaching Verona and Abs about the Compound, and also how it's vice versa, teaching Titan and Camo about the real world. Great update!

    1. Thank you! Camo's new hair makes me wanna do him. LMAO! The four of them, Camo, Verona, Absolon, and Titanium are definitely really good for each other. It's healthy to have friends who can help you see things in a different light.
      Heehee, I'm not surprised you forgot about Engima. Up until now he's been King of the Assholes. He's looking at things with a different perspective now, and no one knows how Absolon's going to react, but the therapist is a smart one.

  5. Wait, totally forgot about Enigma.
    I'm really glad that he's trying to be more accepting of Absolon, it makes me happy. I wonder how Abs is going to react by his fathers sudden change of words and personality towards him.

  6. Awwwww!!!
    Camo's so adorable >u<

    1. I cried so much writing Camo's dialogue. He's so romantic. *dies*

  7. After reading this update, I must say that The Compound has done something right in that Camo is as gentle as he is. In an alternate world, were he on the outside, I am almost certain he would be considered a thug and the stereotype would have led him down a not so gentle path.

    Titanium is the sad product of where he lives and how he was raised. He is unsure of himself and bashful because of his childhood loss. I hope that he loses that hiding shell.

    I am actually glad to see Enigma following through. Absolon is in for a surprise.

    Loved the beach pictures :)

    1. Camo's innocence does really show through here. You are right that stereotypes of the outside world do have a way of getting in and screwing up people's heads. In a very good way, being sheltered has made Camo more curious, and therefore a little more accepting of things. The way he's been treated in The Compound makes him feel the drive to be a good person because he doesn't want to act like those people he hates.

      The very first chapter of this story is set in present day, where Titanium is out of The Compound, and he's much less insecure than he was before, so we know that he heals, even though being shy is his natural personality.

      Enigma is making effort, and LOL Absolon will be very confused.

      Thanks! The beach pictures were fun. =)

  8. Absolon and Titanium are the cutest! Their so perfect for each other (:
    I'm glad that Enigma is trying to get help. Maybe he and his son have a future after all! But then we have the question "can people really change"? And if he does, will Absolon even forgive his dad?
    I'm always forgetting that Verona doesn't know about The Compound, I wonder what she is going to do once she finds out....

    1. Absolon and Titanium, haha, they really like each other. They're progressing a little slower than Camo and Verona in their relationship, and I had so much fun writing about them getting together.
      Time will tell if Enigma and Absolon have some smooth times. Absolon just wants his dad to love him, so if his dad tries, he'll be accepting of that.
      Hehe, yeah Verona doesn't know anything of The Compound, unlike Absolon, who knows about it.

  9. Awww Camo and Verona worked it out, sometimes distance helps. Love can really wear someone out sometimes, it's scary to think about losing someone who is so special to you. And Camo is so sweet with Verona, like he can be kind of mean (in a funny way, like sarcastic) in the Compound but he's like a totally different person with Verona. I like his hair too :)

    Absolon and Titanium <3. I loved Titanium's reactions to everything, the real world is so foreign to him. And after reading this I started thinking about how they use the walkie talkies in the Compound....Like that really is strange and pretty old school lol. I don't understand why they can't have cellphones, that's kind of over the top in my opinion. And the reaction he had to the surround sound was funny lol...Thats the best part about going to the movies. And Titanium is really breaking all the rules but who cares, I think it's great...That kiss they shared... *sigh* :)

    Enigma is finally getting help, and I agree with the therapist he does care about his son to some extent. He just needs to get over something's. Just because his wife had Absolon doesn't mean she didn't want him anymore...Having a child changes a lot of things.

    Lol I laughed at her comment about his t-shirt...Omg my church had a bbq at this guys house and they told all the guys to keep their t-shirts on so they wouldn't tempt the women. There was a young guy there in his early 20's he had a nice body and what not and he was wearing a white shirt and when he got in the pool you could still see his abs through the shirt and his nipples too ;) lol it was pointless for them to say that and it was awkward when he got out. He was kind of an asshole too, he always talked about how much he lifts and I really think some of the older guys were jealous of him lol. :P

    1. Hehe, yeah, Camo just needed to calm down and then realize he missed Verona's face. Deep down, Camo is a sweet guy, he just wants to be loved and not made to feel stupid. In The Compound, people always make him feel like he's stupid, so he lashes out, but he has no reason to do that with Verona because she makes him feel like he matters, so he really likes to talk to her and be with her. His hair is awesome. That's like one of the best hairs... by EA, actually. XD

      The reason they can't have cell phones is because of the control issue, it's too easy for someone to program a "forbidden" number into it and it's almost like, if they made friends on the outside, who gave them their cell phone number, their friend could call them at all hours of the day and plant truth in their head, eventually making the cult member realize the cult is dumb. Basically it's just another way for The Leader to ensure his cult members don't learn too much about the outside world because that can pull them away from the cult. Titanium grew a lot here, by putting his trust in Absolon to go on a date with him to see an R rated movie, and he's realizing that there's really no harm done. Heehee first kiss for them. ;)

      Yeah, Andromeda was dumb to try to save the marriage with a kid. It really hurt Enigma when she made him feel like he wasn't enough for her. The therapist pointed out some great things for him.

      LOL! Oh wow, yeah, the "don't tempt the opposite sex" teaching... *rolls eyes* Mmm wet tshirt on a guy. *faints* XD


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