"You were a member of The Compound for many years. Tell us a little bit about how you came to live there."
"It's simple, really. I was born there."
The compound sits on the outskirts of Silicon Shores, surrounded by dead trees, lots of dirt, and a large brick wall. It looks pretty uninteresting from the outside. The walls are grey and made of cheap vinyl siding that desperately needs remodeling. It looks vastly different from the sorts of architecture normally found in this town.
Inside the compound clinic, a small baby boy cries. He is Baby #237, and that's the name posted on his crib. He's not an orphan because his parents live in the compound. A clinic worker comes by to feed him a bottle of milk. She snuggles the baby and then puts him back in the crib, turning her attention to another patient in the clinic. The only entertainment the baby has is the small television in the nursery that is constantly playing a video.
A sheet of paper is taped to the clinic wall. A closer look reveals that it is a sign up sheet. There are several names written on it and it is organized in two columns, male and female. There is a third column for time and day. There are several names crossed off the list, all in pairs. The title on the sign up sheet reads 'Reproduction Schedule.'
The clinic worker exits the nursery and walks into the maternity ward of the clinic. She washes her hands and puts on a surgical mask and gloves. A woman screams on one of the beds inside the ward. She is going into labor. The clinic worker goes to deliver the baby. Once the baby is delivered, it is placed into a crib in the nursery. The clinic worker gives the mother some water.
"Can I see my baby?"
The clinic worker looks down sadly at the mother and shakes her head. "You know the rules."
The mother's expression turns to one of anger, and rolls over on her bed, turning her back to the clinic worker. The clinic worker sighs. She hates doing that to the new mothers, but she's been punished before for letting a mother hold her baby. She never wants to experience that punishment again.
How did you feel when you were growing up?
Bored. Life was monotonous. I'd go to classes, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. Although one day I did have a friend for a brief moment.
The little boy sits in the classroom, staring off into space. He is wearing cheap looking clothes that are faded in color and appear to be worn in some places. A woman stands in front of the room, writing on a marker board. She has written the words 'Do not talk to strangers.' The little boy fidgets and drops his notebook on the floor, causing a disturbance in the room. The teacher spins around quickly.
"#237! Don't disturb the classmates! Just for that, you have to answer the question."
"Um, what was the question again?"
"Who are strangers and why should we not talk to them?"
"Strangers are people outside of this home. We cannot talk to them because they are not safe. They will hurt us and are only out to destroy this home."
"Very good, #237. Now behave for the remainder of the class, please."
The little boy looks over at another child in the classroom. She is looking down at her desk and he can tell she is bored as well. He passes her a note. 'Meet me in the library. - #237' She looks over at him and smiles, nodding her head to acknowledge his request. After the class is over, the little boy heads to the library. He notices the little girl following him, but doesn't talk to her until they are both in the library.
"Hi. Thanks for meeting me. That class is just so boring."
"I agree. I don't know how the teacher can do that every day. She's always teaching the same lesson."
"Do you ever wish you could talk to strangers? I mean, are they really not safe?"
"Hmm.. Sometimes I do. I don't know that they could all be bad, could they?"
A man behind a bookshelf hears the children talking. That's not the problem though, the problem is they are talking about the strangers. He knows he has to report them. The man puts the book he was thinking of reading back on the shelf and walks away from the children to a small side room in the library. He pulls out a walkie talkie and pushes the button.
"Mr. Leader, sir, this is Stamper. I just overheard two children talking about the strangers. I think they are curious about them."
"Thank you Stamper. Can you see their numbers?"
"Yes, the first is #237, and the other is #235."
"That will be all."
"Yes, Mr. Leader, sir."
What happened to you after Stamper reported you?
I was put into Isolation that night. Isolation was a room with a sleeping bag and toilet. They fed me nothing but thin soup once a day for a week. After I got out of Isolation, I was so weak I could barely stand. I used the wall to help me walk for the next few days, trying to regain the muscles in my legs. I nursed myself back to health by attending meal time every day and eating everything on my plate.
What do you think happened to your friend?
I'm not sure. I know she probably got put in Isolation as well, but it's possible she never made it out because I didn't see her in class anymore. I kept to myself after that.
Some theme music plays, and Mrs. Balestrom touches my leg as she gets up off her chair.
"Let's take a break for now. I'll let you recover. Sorry for asking you the hard questions."
"That's all right. I need to talk about this if I'm going to heal from this experience and open other's eyes to the seriousness of cults."
My boyfriend taps me on the shoulder and gives me a hug. He brushes the hair out of my eyes and then looks into them.
"Hey, you're doing great, babe. Are you all right?"
"Yes. This is hard, but I'm ok. Thank you for always being there for me."
"You're welcome, Titanium. You know I love you."
"I love you too, Absolon."
Ew, cults... touchy subject...
ReplyDeleteLet's see what you will handle this. Bookmarked ^^
Yes, ew is correct. The inspiration comes from some television shows and personal experience.
DeleteAnd thank you for reading and commenting. :)
DeleteHow personal, if I may ask?
DeleteHello dearie. Yes, you may ask. Pretty personal, I was involved for about 6 years. Some of those years I did succumb to their lies. It wasn't a full blown extremist one, but they definitely did the whole brainwashing technique mixed in with guilt as punishment. They were very big on following the rules and breaking me down so that I would give in to them. I got lectured quite a bit for (in hindsight) pretty minor things. They tried to convince me (and it worked for a while) that I needed to teach their ways to my parents and other people who weren't as 'privileged'. They were always trying to change my behavior and appearance so I would fit into their little box of what a perfect person should be. In their eyes they were 'saving' me from a life of impurity and despair, claiming they were the only way to true happiness. In reality, at least how I see it now, they were the cause of my despair. While I was there, I lost quite a bit of my true self and what I had wanted to accomplish in my life. They were very nice at first when they recruited me, but over the years I was just expected to attend meeting after meeting and obey. Things became less about me, and more about how I obeyed (or didn't obey.) Even though they didn't have a number system, I felt like a number. Any time I showed any sense of creativity or original thought, I was scolded. I once tried to voice a long lost dream I'd had and was immediately scolded. They said my dreams didn't follow the right path and that I'd never be happy if I pursued them. There was a lot of condescension masquerading as kindness.
DeleteOh my.
DeleteSeriously, I hoped it would have been less personal. Congrats!! You can be very, very proud of you that you made it out if this. It must have been terribly hard to free yourself of this net after getting caught in it so deeply. I am especially impressed that you managed it without loosing all your individual personality while dealing with constant mental abuse and egalitarianism- great job done, latenight! *hugz*
Every time I hear this story, it makes me angry and bitter that groups who claim to have found the only true path to happiness, deliverance or something similar always turn out to be controlling, brainwashing and, worst of all, to be making the very people who came to them for help feeling small, doomed and miserable in the end *fumes*
Crap I should be working right now *lol* ok, I will get back to this later- for now, just this. Itś one of my favorites ^^
"Always remember that you are different: Just like anybody else"
Thank you anna for your very kind words! *hugz back*
DeleteYou are very welcome hun.
DeleteI don´t know how exactly it happened, but I grew up to be extremely cautious whenever somebody was trying to convince me that something was the ultimate truth, or the only way to think/be/go. The more somebody presses his or her opinion, the more reluctant I get... so cults are only vaguely interesting to me, and that´s it. About as interesting as diseases, chemical weapons... you catch my drift :/
Might be because I kind of grew up with both German systems parallel; I suppose being constantly confronted with two diametrically opposed political systems and all that comes with that has some side effects *lol*
These organizations are very sneaky in the way they recruit people. It's like a wild animal hunting prey, but I only realize that now. When I met the person who invited me to their first get together, it was a simple pizza and a movie night. There was no hard pressuring or convincing of 'the way' until at least 3 years in.
DeleteI am glad that you are cautious about things such as that, it is a good defense against those evil people.
Hm, some are pretty forward, too, advertising their ways agressively, some even do so publicly in pedestrian zones here
DeleteBut how did you manage to get away after you realized you did not want that way of living for yourself anymore? I assume they did not just shake your hand and wave you goodbye
I do remember seeing one group who acted publicly as you mentioned. They often held up signs and yelled 'Burn in hell, sinners,' while standing in front of the library. The one I was in was associated with a local church in my town. They had a weekly meeting on the college campus where they claimed to be searching for God without the use of religion. They claimed they were focused on loving everyone without judgment. Fat lie that was because a few years in, it was obvious they thought exactly the same as the group who was more outspoken. They encouraged living with other members of the group, who were supposed to keep each other accountable for things. It was actually a way for them to keep tabs on their members since they didn't have a building where everyone lived. It's much harder to skip a meeting if your roommate guilts you into going. I got away by breaking that rule. I was living with one of the members at the time when I started wondering if this was wrong, and I gradually stopped going to their big weekly meeting. My roommate would always ask me if I wanted a ride. I went sporadically, and then eventually stopped accepting her invitations. Then I quit going to all the smaller meetings as well. She still remained my friend. I lived with her until our apartment lease was up and then I moved into my own apartment. That was the turning point. They called me for about 2 months asking if I was going to be attending their meetings. I noticed the change in their voices from the condescending, scolding manner. It had changed back into the friendly voice I'd remembered from when they first recruited me. Of course now I knew it was a trick, so I simply just kept declining their invitations to attend the meetings. First I made up excuses, like I had to work, or I had homework, or I was sick, but then finally I flat out said, I'm not coming anymore. After that, they shunned me. Any time I would see any of them around town or campus, they would pretend they didn't know who I was. It hurt for a little while because I thought they were my friends when it turns out I was just another number.
DeleteSo one might say you managed to sneak out through the back door, huh? *g*
DeleteIt must have been very sad to face the group members behaviour towards you after you did, though. I reckon you were still studying at the time? I think that was lucky in a way, given as any kind of school provides a lot of opportunities to socialize with different people.... if you had already been, say, in a company were all fellow workers were part of the cult, too, you would have been extremely isolated and most likely would have left the place.
Brrr.
Anyways, that was then and now is now and trust me, you are not just a number. Prove? I am pretty bad with numbers ;oD
In a way, yeah, sneaking out is fitting. I didn't escape 100% unscathed though. Physically, yes I was done with them. Mentally, though, hm. Those mental wounds they left are hard ones to heal. I've gotten better over the years since I left, but there's still a lot of healing to go. Yes, you are correct, I was still studying. I also had a part time job that I worked to occupy my time and meet other people. Thank you for saying that I am not just a number, that's been one of the mental barriers that's affected me the most. I took a large battering to my self esteem because of them.
DeleteSeriously, who could ever just brush off an experience like that?! If you take a look around you will find that next to everyone is wearing a fair amount of scars on mind and soul, so try not to let yours bother you to much. Remember, this whole thing is in fact behind you, and you are a different person today. Partly because of what you have been trough, but also because you are more experienced in life in general now. So give your shy little self esteem a good nudge in the ribs and be a bit more proud of who and where you are today, hm? Besides, most people have a lot more self doubt than you would guess after meeting them only briefly :o)
DeleteThanks, anna. You are a great friend. :)
DeleteEhm... thank you, and you are welcome...
DeleteWell, as we were just talking about strange insecurities, actually this is one of my, how shall I put it, tender spots. It makes me feel very uncomfortable when someone calls me a friend. Always. Even when my best friend does it, who I am friends with for over twenty years now. She loves to tease me about it *ggg*
Oh. I am sorry for making you uncomfortable. Do know that I didn't mean to. I do like our conversation. :)
DeleteNo problem :)
DeleteBtw, let´s not forget the story. I just read "Volunteer" And I think I did not mention yet that I really like the way you write it, the way you mix the interview situations and flashbacks is refreshingly discreet. I have read a lot of sim stories where the author literally shoves the more important bits into the readers face- this is very different.
I got notified about your comment in my email, but it didn't post here. I was trying to think of a way to describe Titanium's experience that wasn't completely first person. I didn't think the story would be as interesting written that way. I went through many drafts before I found what I wanted, so I am glad it turned out well for my readers. :o)
DeleteOh, strange! I got the popup announcing it was published, hmmm... but I did not get the security check bit with the numbers and the letters. Wonder if this one will be visible?!
DeleteI really should be working on my last chapter atm, but I just don´t feel it. Joined some building competitions instead *sigh*
That's all right! :) I took off the word verification for now when I changed the comment settings cause mrsoogie couldn't post. If I get any spam messages, I might put it back on, but I know the word verification can get annoying.
DeleteBuilding competitions? That sounds like fun. What's the prize for winning?
Eh- oops. You got me there- I don´t even know! Oh dear *lol* I just joined for the fun XD
DeleteI remember one contest where you could win University, but as usual, I failed. I don´t remember ever winning?! But the prize is usually simpoints. If you win, the host will gift you stuff from your wishlist up to the amount of simpoints you won.
Oh that's cool. Gifts are fun! :) I think my wishlist is empty, lol.
DeleteTststs. You really should add some items to it, there are a surprising lot of simmers who love to go on gifting sprees. Plus, there are always the lotteries ^^
DeleteBtw, I checked and I guessed right - the prizes are simpoints. If you want to take a look, you find the contest here: http://forum.thesims3.com/jforum/posts/list/642299.page
Ah cool. :) I kind of suck at building things, but that contest is cool. Haha filling my wish list might be something fun to do.
DeleteThere is a cute contest for 10 x 10 homes running, too, if you are interested.... and do you already know that forun thread about free items, hmmmmm? *ggg*
DeleteNo, I don't know the forum thread about free items. I pretty much just hang out at that one thread where we post story updates.
DeleteI used to follow a lot of story and legacy threads, but since I found out how to follow the connecting blogs I am way behind with all that :(
DeleteAnd thanks for accepting, I posted the link to the free items thread on your Mypage :)
You're welcome. :) And thanks for the link. :)
DeleteOh my. This screams 1984 to me on some level. I think it's like the thought police and that guy spying on them in the library. Poor #235.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the mother not seeing her baby. That kills me. :(
Intrigued to see where this goes!
Hello, love. I have never seen 1984. Yeah, things are pretty screwed up in this organization. Thanks for reading and commenting! :)
DeleteWhat an interesting concept! I can't wait to read more. I was reading the comments as well and I also wanted to say I'm sorry you had to go through such a thing. Hopefully because of it though, you are a stronger, more beautiful person. Well, I should say INDIVIDUAL, because we all different and awesome in our own ways! Hahaha
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more!
Mrsoogie! Welcome! :) Thanks for your kind words. I do think I grew stronger because of my experience. I'm glad you're reading this! :)
Deleteholy crap!! this story is so interesting. I love that your not afraid to write about a touchy subject. On to the next chapter!!!!
ReplyDeleteBTW have you ever read the giver? Is a book I read about cults when I was in high school its very good and this kinda of reminds me of it a bit.
Hi! :) Thanks for your kind words!
DeleteNo I have never read the giver. :) This story is influenced by some tv shows and personal experience.
Really interesting start, I'm looking forward to catching up on this story over the week.I really love the concept, and the way it's presented with #237 talking about his memories of the compound.
ReplyDeleteWelcome! I always love gaining new readers. :) Thanks for checking out the story and I'm glad you like it.
DeleteYou just gained another follower. I've had a similar experience, though technically not with a cult. I was reading through your comments--the way you describe your experience with members after you left. I don't fit in any one's box either. I don't want to offend others, but I also refuse to let other's define me. Someone once pointed out to me that when we change our behavior to fit other's expectations we are in essence making that person our god. Yes, I too am hurt when I see those people who I thought were my friends and they turn their heads from me and refuse to acknowledge my presence.
ReplyDeleteI hope writing this is therapeutic for you. I love your writing style and voice--it fits well with the theme. Can't wait to read the rest of the story!
Hi dreamsong! Welcome! Thank you for taking the time to check out and comment on my story. I'm sorry you had a similar experience, it really does suck. That thing you said about those actions make those people our gods is such an interesting statement, and I see the wisdom in it. It's such a cool way of putting that, I never thought of it that way before. I also love finding other people who are not willing to be put in a box. :) Writing this is therapeutic. It's been helping me think a lot more on what happened to me while I was there and what I learned from it. I mainly started it because there were some tv shows dealing with cults that intrigued me, but then I was like, hmm, I bet they intrigue me because I can relate. This story is definitely part of the healing process.
DeleteOh! I also forgot to mention, thanks so much for following! :)
DeleteWow (or maybe I should say ew because of the theme and upbringing of these children) but your writing style pulls me right in. :) How a person born into this kind of brain washing can become a well functioning adult is amazing. Can't wait to read on!
ReplyDeleteLMAO, this is definitely a story that brings up lots of mixed feelings. Thanks for starting to read this, swiirl! :) Thanks for commenting!
DeleteWow! This. Is. Amazing! I'm hooked. I just finished up all your other stories the other day. (I read them on my kindle fire at night before bed.) Since I was done with those, I figured I'd start in on this one. I'm blown away. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, you are an amazing writer.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the compliment, Amandralynn! :) It means a lot when people say that. :) Thanks for commenting, too. I heart comments.
DeleteSo, now I have to read all of this in as little days as possible. Goodbye sleep! The names are intriguing, do they mean anything?
ReplyDeleteDon't answer that...I'll just keep reading!
Hi Taina! Welcome to my story! :)
DeleteThank you for reading and commenting. I'm glad you like the names.
This seems like it will be a good read. :)
ReplyDeleteHey Zhippidy! Thanks so much for checking this out. =) I hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it.
DeleteHey, it's Emily from The Ballentine Legacy. Let me just say: Wow, intense. I don't really know that much about cults (other then what I've seen on television and read about) so I think that this is going to be very interesting. I like how you slipped in and out of "current" time (I'm assuming that it's contemporary) and Titanium's memory. I'm certainly intrigued!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily! Welcome to my story. :) This story gets more intense as it goes on... :D Yeah, it's modern day. I usually write beginning to end, but I thought I'd start with the end in this one, and go through a series of memories because the topic was so creepy and unpleasant. I wanted readers to know Titanium is now free and no longer stuck in that crappy place. :)
DeleteThanks so much for checking this out, I hope you continue to enjoy it. :)
And now I sit here wondering why oh why I didn't have the privilege of reading this when it first started! Wonder what happened to #235? Wonder if I'm going to find out. . .:)
ReplyDeleteI like how you started at the end and used memories to fill in the story! It's nice to see that Titanium is happy at this point. :)
So glad that you got through this point in your life! {Hugs}
Hi sandybeachgirl! :) Welcome to The Compound. :) LOL. Thanks for checking this out. Yeah, I do say what happens to #235 at some point in the story.
DeleteWhen I was trying to figure out how to write this, I was experimenting with different writing styles. Normally I write from beginning to end, but since I'm also partly telling my story, I thought for this one, the end would be better to start out with because then everyone could see Titanium is now happy and free. I wasn't sure how it would work, but it turned out being really good and easy to write that way. I'm happy it's coming across to readers as well.
Haha, thanks! *hugs back*
Wow it's like you read my mind. I've been pretty curious about the 3rd person present tense narration and this just gave me some insight. This honestly reminded me of the Holocaust and religious extremists, very interesting start. You can feel the fear and control they have over these people. Kind of like the government today lol but that's another story. I had an English teacher named ms.Leader...she was pretty hardcore. Lol
ReplyDeleteI must admit when I first read the info section I was like 'O.o' wtf but then I read this and was mind fucked...in a good way.
Read the comment section...it's pretty interesting that you were in a cult before but at least you woke up to the bullshit, those people are crazy (not all but most). Being in a cult is like having duct tape put across your lips and being tied to a chair...crazy shit.
Haha, well, good I am glad I could give you some third person insight. I don't really like writing in third person, but I wanted a challenge, so that's why I designed this story to be written in the way that it is. This was mainly inspired by the cult I was in, which of course, they won't say it's a cult, but it was a very extreme fundamentalist church. I felt like the line that church was on was very blurred, and a lot of the things that I experienced, looking in hindsight, were scarily similar to cults.
DeleteIn a cult, all your freedoms are stripped away and the only thing you are allowed to do is obey. The creepy part is that you actually believe that is a perfectly okay way to live.