I think purity was the main cause driving most of The Compound's rules, but another reason was because The Leader wanted to eliminate pain from people's lives. He thought avoidance was the only way to do this.
Titanium, Camo, and Zinfandel are in class. The teacher starts the lesson off with the word 'relationship.'
"We in this house are happy because our lives are perfect. The Strangers deal with pain and misfortune every day. Some of them are abused, have to live on the street, and go hungry for days, causing them to be very miserable. Most of these problems stem from bad relationships. The Strangers don't know how to love like we do. A lot of them will say they love you under false pretenses and then many years later, will abuse you and make your life fall apart. The only way for you to ensure a good life for yourself is to remain in this house. What kinds of abuse are there? Does anyone have any examples?"
"Beating someone up."
"That's right Camo, that is physical abuse."
"Saying mean things to someone."
"Good, Titanium, that is mental abuse."
"Ignoring someone."
"Yes, Zinfandel, that is also mental abuse. Very good class. This is why we keep everyone platonic in this house. It is true that sometimes abuse happens among friends, but the pain of a break up is much more damaging and will cause you to do things that lead to impurity. Do everything in your power to stay away from relationships."
From as early as I can remember, my parents were not happy. I didn't find out why until I was old enough to understand their arguments. It turns out I was the reason.
Mom would always get on Dad's case about not talking to me or spending time with me and then Dad would yell at her because he never wanted me in the first place. After a while, Dad just stopped coming home at night, probably so he could get a good night's sleep instead of arguing with Mom till the wee hours of the morning. This caused Mom to get really suspicious of his whereabouts, so she started sitting in the kitchen waiting for Dad to come home. I woke up early one Saturday morning to screaming from downstairs.
"WHERE THE FUCK have you been, Enigma Marseilles?! Don't tell me you were working late, nobody works till 7am the NEXT morning!"
"Fine. I wasn't working late."
"Don't get all smart ass on me, you- you..."
"Ooh, I'm so insulted, Andromeda. Have you forgotten how to talk?"
"Are you going to answer my question?"
"No."
"Fuck you, Enigma."
"Yeah, we used to fuck. Remember? Then you had to go and get fat."
"I didn't 'go and get fat.' I got pregnant because-"
"Because what? You thought it would change me? I told you when we got married that I didn't want any children. I still think you skipped your birth control that day, you bitch."
"Don't you call me that! I thought you would like Absolon because he looks so much like you."
"You don't get the point. I didn't want children, no matter what they looked like!"
I got dressed and went to the beach by myself, slipping out while my parents were ripping each other's heads off. My parents never really cared that I came and went. My mom loved me, but she was always too busy fighting with my asshole dad to pay attention to me. That was the day I first saw Titanium. He was wearing a t-shirt at the beach and sitting with Camo. I thought it was strange that they weren't just wearing swim trunks, but I chalked it up to them being shy. Some people aren't comfortable with their bodies, and I knew that all too well. My mom was always working out because Dad kept calling her fat. I think she may have developed some eating disorder because it seemed like she'd go days without eating. She got all health freak too, making kale shakes and becoming a vegetarian. She tried to make me do that too, but I preferred the fruit smoothies and there was no way I was going to give up meat.
The Compound was trying to protect people from feeling pain. Did you think pursuing a romantic relationship was worth the potential pain you might experience?
I believed what they taught me, but I couldn't deny the strong attraction that had manifested in me. I still didn't know how to separate their teachings from things Camo made me think about because at the time, I could see advantages to each side of the argument.
Absolon takes a break from playing and has a cup of coffee. Titanium happens to be in the break room eating lunch. Absolon sits down with Titanium.
Titanium looks up, surprised.
"Hi. You sing really well."
"Thanks. Sorry I've been ignoring you, I was just upset."
"You're welcome. I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to hit a nerve."
"I realize that now."
Absolon smiles at Titanium, and both boys feel a sense of relief, having cleared up the tension between them. Titanium feels a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach that he's not quite sure how to describe. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before.
I want to ask Camo to be my boyfriend, even though I am pretty sure he's not seeing anyone else but me. I don't know much about him other than he's blunt and he has his name tattooed on his arm. I do the usual and ask him to go on break with me. I know we've both already eaten, so I'm hoping that this time I can get to know him a little more since we won't be stuffing our faces.
We don't go far, sitting on the couch next to the book counter. I look at him and he looks back at me. I can't stop staring at him. He's so perfect looking. I keep racking my brain trying to think of how to ask him why his name is tattooed on his arm without sounding like I'm interrogating him. I don't even know if that's how he would take it since I know he is perfectly okay with my bluntness. I don't know what is wrong with me. I've never been this nervous around a guy before. I wasn't even nervous the first time I asked him out. Maybe I should just blurt it out, it worked the first time when I told him he was cute. Luckily, I am saved when Camo notices that I'm staring at his wrist.
"You want to know why my name is tattooed on my wrist?"
I nod as I look up and get lost in his twinkling brown eyes.
"It was something I had to do when I turned sixteen. Everyone where I live has one."
I'm fascinated by this because I've never heard of anything like that. It's a little creepy and it kind of reminds me of branding cattle. I also find it slightly cruel that it was done to a human, but I acknowledge that at least Camo didn't get a branding iron pressed onto his smooth skin. I shudder to think of the pain he would feel if his body were marred like that.
"Oh. Where do you live?"
"The Compound. It's a shelter. Where do you live?"
"With my parents."
"That's cool. I don't know who my parents are."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, they didn't die or anything, I just never met them."
Camo is certainly an interesting guy. I find it curious that he never met his parents and then I get sad that he might be an orphan. At least he had that shelter to take care of him, despite that creepy tattooing thing. Oh my god, Camo is smiling. He's got an adorable little smile. I keep staring, but I don't think he cares. My eyes wander to the buttons on the front of his shirt. It's too bad the store is open right now because I really want to get that shirt off of him.
I'm not sure what happened to Kalya. She's really different from when I first met her. I don't love her any less, but she's definitely being unfair to Verona. She seems to like our son Victor better, and I don't know why Verona seems to rub her the wrong way all the time. She's so beautiful sitting there at the vanity.
"Kalya, honey can I ask you something?"
"Of course, dear."
"Why do you have this obsession with social status? I wasn't very high in society when you met me. What changed?"
"I just feel like now that we've moved up in society, we don't need to be a part of that low class stuff anymore. We need to appreciate the finer things in life and leave the past behind."
"Oh Kalya, darling. Everyone starts somewhere. You can't look down on that. You can still appreciate the expensive stuff, but you don't need to be mean to those who don't have it. I've also been meaning to ask you why you give Verona such a hard time. You love her, don't you?"
"Of course I do. She's our beautiful daughter. I just want what's best for her, but galivanting around with the pool boy isn't going to give her a good life. She'll be living in a trailer park if she continues to socialize with people like that. I just don't want Verona to have to deal with the hardships we dealt with when we were young."
"Kalya, you don't really think that everyone who doesn't have a big house lives in a trailer park do you? Besides, Verona has us as her parents, she won't ever have to start from scratch. We'll always be there for her, no matter who she falls in love with."
Hm. I wonder what Abs would have to say about the idea of avoiding pain by any means... and if he would find it a desireable thing not to know your parents :/
ReplyDeletePersonally, I find Verona´s mum scarier than Abs´ dad...
Kalya is creepy in the way that her thinking is very 'us vs. them,' which is very cult-like. Something has corrupted her thinking in a bad way. Well, Absolon doesn't like his father at all as you've seen in a previous chapter. He does wish things were different between them, although he knows it will never happen. As for his mother, he worries for her.
DeleteCreepy, that´s the word *snapsfingers* it creeps me out every time when I meet people who have somehow climbed the social ladder and now try to hide or even deny their origins by any means.
ReplyDeleteI just don´t get it. Instead of being proud of what the achieved and seeing potential in everyone who still has to try, they - at times - are worse than those who have been born with a silver spoon *rolleseyes*
*joins in the eye rolling*
DeleteI watched a movie where a high society family had a daughter who fell in love with the doorman of their building, and her mother thought it was the worst thing in the universe. The doorman's mother also thought that him dating a rich girl was the worst thing in the universe. I found myself thinking, wtf? If the boy had been eating in a restaurant and the girl fell in love with him, not knowing what he did, would that have changed her mother's perception of him? I will never understand social ladders and the invisible walls/ceilings people build around themselves. It's one thing to want to climb the social ladder and become a success, but like Charles said, 'Everyone starts somewhere,' and being proud of your achievements is what people should always appreciate. I found this social ladder stuff intriguing and so I built Kalya's character around that as a means to explore it more.
I find, at least where I studied university, the social ladder was very prominent. People who didn't go to university, drop out, or even those who went but didn't like it (the category I fall into) are looked down upon like Kalya looks down on the pool boy. People who graduated from university and enjoyed it are praised as 'better than' everyone else because of their 'accomplishments.' I can't count the number of times fellow university students found out I wasn't going to be pursuing a career in my field of study and then proceeded to roll their eyes at me and call me irresponsible. I wanted to follow my dreams and apparently that was a big social taboo. *growls*
Oh great. I wrote a telephone book of a comment, and my internet decided to crash *argh*
DeleteLong story cut short, yes, from my experience, too, the prejudice works both ways. Which, I think, sucks. Big time.
OMFG! That is so annoying! Stupid internet. :) Prejudice is an odd thing that sucks major balls.
DeleteAbsolon and Titanium are finally talking! Yay!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you pair up the Compound's lessons with scenes from the lives of the non-compound characters. It's true that in relationships, you run the risk of experiencing pain. The Leader says you should avoid relationships to avoid the pain. But then you are also avoiding the joy that goos relationships bring. There's nothing the compoubd offers that can even come close to real intimacy and love with a person.
I'm so looking forward to the day when Titanium finally experiences that. =D
I'm also happy Camo is talking with Verona, and that they have such a nice rapport and find it easy to be honest with each other as they get to know each other.
And I like how Kayla is an example of how you don't have to be indoctrinated into a cult to be brainwashed. She's been blinded by social prejudices and tries to be as controlling over her daughter as the Leader is to his flock. I hope her husband can turn her around.
Yeah, Absolon has deep hatred for The Compound, so he needed some time to work out in his mind that Titanium doesn't represent The Compound, he is just another person stuck in its grasp. It doesn't hurt that he likes him too! :D
DeleteI think avoidance is one of the dumbest defense mechanisms in the world, for that exact reason you stated. Losing out on the potential joy because you're too scared to take risks. You lose out on so much of what life has to offer. Living in fear in my opinion is not living at all.
Verona's falling hard for Camo... heehee..
Bingo on your comment about Kalya too. There are plenty of brainwashed people out there, they're just all brainwashed by different things. People need to break out of their shells and what they've been told and think for themselves!
Okay, for once I read others' comments. Now I feel stupid. Inept. I guess I thought some of that stuff, but the absent-minded trait in me makes me forget what I was thinking as I was reading. However, the hopeless romantic in me remembers how yay! Abs and Titanium are talking at least. :D
ReplyDeleteAww, honey, you don't have to feel stupid. Sometimes people just don't realize they're doing something 'stupid' until someone else points it out. Learning from mistakes is a blessing.
DeleteSometimes I forget what I'm going to comment on when I read your stories too. That's why my comments are sometimes really short.
Yup, it's a turning point for Titanium. He's going to have to start thinking for himself now that Absolon is talking to him because Absolon isn't going to take any talk of The Compound lightly. Luckily, Titanium knows that now and will tread softly.
I really like this story. It's different from other legacies or challenges where it become routine and predictable.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the bafflement of people's origins who work their way up the "social ladder". I assume some people are embarrassed, because they don't want to appear like some one who's only in the class by luck and are actually poor. They try to hide behin wealth and power, because they cannot admit that they themselves where once the pool boy or doorman and only want people to see
(Sorry, my comment was cut off!) they only want people to see their power and wealth. They assume that if someone knows that they weren't born into richness, it defeated their status. Status is everything, I suppose. Being particularly "lower class" I assume I can't speak for those who are of wealth, but people of wealth may be so use to living with money and are materialistic, they don't know what to do it they lose the golds and fine silks (I'm going with stereotypical wealth) I assume they lose who they were and are left with the materialistic snobbish self. (Because of so called materialistic trait, they look down on people who do not have what they do). That probably sounds like I'm bashing the rich....(I don't want to sound cruel!) I'm just trying to logically think out the poor gone wealthy attitude change.
DeleteI guess it boils down to: they think if they admit what they once were, they'll lose what they have and they don't know how to live without it.
As for the rich ❤poor it seems like the people are more "he can't care for him because they're poor" even though the girl is probably the heir to millions and could marry any social class she wants because of it. If they dated or even married, he'd be elevated to her class because of her wealth....if he's kind and sweet and friendly, I suppose that's all that matters. The mother hates daughter loving a poor man might loop back to the she's materialisteic and judges the book by the cover... :)
Thank you for listening to my theorized rambles :D
Hey! Thank you for reading and for your comment! Sorry you got cut off! I love listening to those who want to share their thoughts with me. :) Don't worry, I didn't take it as you were bashing rich people. ;)
DeleteI love breaking stereotypes, so I wrote Charles and Kalya in as rich people who are completely different. Charles is a rich person who likes his wealth, but it hasn't changed him. Kalya is rich and acts like a dumbass. LOL. Seriously, though she falls into that category you were explaining about people being afraid/embarrassed. She cares way too much about what people think of her and it comes out in a stupid way. Fear is a powerful thing, and it causes people to act irrationally.
I forgot to type this above, but thank you for your nice words about my story not being predictable. I try to keep it that way since I myself am a totally unpredictable person. Predictability bores me and I really hope I can keep this story intriguing as it goes on. :)
Delete:) Charles is defiantly the type of character you route for, while Kayla is a materialistic, rich, snob who if you tried to explain the whole her past doesn't (necessarily) effect who she is today and wealth isn't everything, she'd snort and assume you where a poor person who's blabbering something just so they themselves can feel better, or they no idea what they're talking about; as you wrote in the chapter, people like her won't listen and will only believe what they want. Since they money they can afford to.
DeleteI see one reason why someone might lie about their past(and it isn't even a good one). If they did/participated in illegal activity when they were poor, or maybe stole things to be able to pay bills or did other things to pay bills, maybe you'd be embarrassed. Still, "...embarrassment's existence is due because society judges." (a paraphrased quote from someone I can't remember/something I read). They assume people will judge them and no longer let them hang out/be associated with the rich(and fear that). Everything I think of loops back to the fear of unacceptable. Of course "...we all strive for acceptance one way or another, don't we?" (another paraphrased quote, I think, from someone I can't remember/something I read)
Heehee, I think of Kalya snorting and I laughed because I can picture her being repulsed by such a sound coming out of her. ROFL!
DeleteI hope to explore this social ladder thingy more throughout the story, and it's cool to hear your thoughts.
Yeah, we do all strive to be accepted, it's true. I think the best way to do that is for people to accept themselves first, and then they won't worry so much about what others think of them. That's easier said than done.
You're so right about 'society judges' and embarrassment being caused by it because if no one was sitting there judging everyone, there would be nothing to be embarrassed about. Assumptions are also something that society has created, which I think is the cause of stereotyping. People assume things of other people, that they think fits into a nice little package, when in reality people are so much more complicated than that.
Lol, you're right Kayla snorting...her repulsion would be by far so great she'd never dare do anything of the sorts!
DeleteI'm going to be reading eagerly. This story is becoming increasingly entertaining and engaging. There are so many possibilities for the plot, I'm excited for how you'll handle it.
It is hard to except yourself. Often, people don't come out and say what they think about you, and your brain is stuck trying to figure out what their nonverbal communications mean. We often assume the worst... Society was created by our minds, as well. We view society as one whole group that has a stereotypical image. (The hipsters with their glasses and opinions, the goths all dressed in black, the jocks/preps that are dressed in head to toe in name brand crap that costs way too much (or anyone who wheres those certain brands, for that matter), the nerds with their books and philosophical ways and video games.... all stereotypes of certain portions of society.) We think of society as two or three snobby people, judging us. We only get to see the people who talk the loudest and have the most money, when in reality they're the minority. Everyone else is scared of doing something wrong, making the powerful people mad, and being labeled as bad or stupid or even poor.
When people are use to having something (like money) and are use to being able afford everything, their view of poor is shifted. Poor is no longer a lack of money, poor to them is a group of uneducated people who failed to work hard enough to get to the same position. Poor is associated with lazy; no money=lazy=stupid. It isn't that, though. Some people aren't going to be able to have opportunities because of their position and people are to busy stereotyping them. Our view of society is messed up and no one bothers to speak up and out because of it.
On two totally random notes:
A)I probably should stop commenting these long comments
B)The anonymous was me, forgetting to log in. I have a new legacy could you please check it out? http://thejaneslegacy.blogspot.com/
Hey! It's awesome that it's you! *waves* Oh and I don't mind your long comments. LOL. I tend to respond long as well. ;) Of course I'll check out your new story. :D
DeleteI do love the open ended-ness of this story (kay I guess that wasn't a word, LOL) because I can explore all the weird quirks of society and its nonsense.
I think you are right though, cause it's always "lazy homeless bum" and "snobby rich person" or "weird comic book geek." I hate labels, mainly because I don't fit into any of them. I came from wealth, but now I am working my way up to my own wealth. I want to be rich so that I don't have to worry about money. I like video games and superheroes, but I love wearing makeup and dresses. LOL. Stereotypes fall short on me because people try to put me in a box and it just doesn't work. I've worked my way back to not caring what people think about me and it's pretty liberating.
You are so right about some people just don't have opportunities, and they don't know how to get them. Judging them (like society is so good at doing) is not going to do them a single bit of good.
Good update! I really do like Verona's dad. I'm happy to see that his riches didn't go to his head like it did to Kalya.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait until Camo and her get together.. I wonder if they ever WILL close down the store and stay behind to have a little fun and break some rules. ;)
Thanks! I am a big fan of breaking stereotypes, and one of the big ones is 'all rich people are snobby assholes.' I thought, oh hell no, I'm writing a filthy rich person who is the nicest guy in the freaking universe.
DeleteAs for Verona,she is just as much of a hornball (to quote you) as Camo is, and they both think rules are stupid... so... they might just get that fun you speak of. LOL! :D
Saying mean things is verbal abuse
ReplyDeleteIgnoring someone (to hurt them) is emotional abuse
Using money to control is financial abuse
And then there's mental, sexual and physical abuse
I taught a class to high schoolers called Abusive relationships among teenagers who date. Still remember my lesson plans.
Hey Taina, thanks for reading and commenting. =)
DeleteHmmm...Relationships can be pretty destructive at times but not all the time, everyone is different...Yet again The Compound is blowing things out of proportion... It's nearly impossible NOT to have a relationship with someone...That's just human nature...And friends hurt each other, shit happens...You can't go on your whole life without experiencing pain...That's just abnormal O.o
ReplyDelete"It's okay, they didn't die or anything, I just never met them." Camo has no idea how wrong that is...lol. Verona's thoughts make me laugh, it's like I'm right there with her. "Oh my god, Camo is smiling"
Camo+ Verona's mother = a problem lol.
I loved the way you started this chapter off as far as the teacher explaining relationships and pain and then bringing up the relationship problem Absolon watched his parents go through. :)
It's true, you can't make a man want to have a child with you...A baby won't make a guy stick around but Absolon's father is still in the wrong for ignoring him.
When you find a relationship that is the right one for you, it stops being destructive, and it adds to your life. Even though you might fight at times, it's all worth it in the end. :D The Compound's teachings on relationships were what the cult I was in taught. o.O Although the cult I was in had different beliefs in marriage, they were okay with marriage, but you had to marry another cult member. The Compound is trying to protect people from pain, but in the end, they're making them miss out on what life has to offer by making them fear life. In my opinion, living in fear is not living at all.
DeleteAww, haha, that thing Camo said was to show how even though he does question things and he hates The Compound, he is still damaged by its influence on his life. He has no idea what a family is, and that makes me sad for him. T_T LOL.
As for Camo and Verona's mother, I'm saying nothing cause you'll find out more later. LOL.
Aww thank you. :D I enjoyed the way I structured this story, it usually made it really easy to name chapters LOL.
Both of Absolon's parents are wrong equally, in my mind. Absolon's mom was stupid for being careless when she knew her husband didn't want children, and Absolon's dad was stupid for not accepting change in his life.
Wow! That's VERY strange...What if there wasn't enough single cult members? That doesn't even make logical sense...Lol. I agree, life is about living it to the fullest and if you're scared all the time you can't even enjoy it.
DeleteThe cult was always recruiting new members, and you didn't have to get married, but they did want you to want to get married eventually. So I guess, the recruiting of new members made it so there was always some single cult members around. But yeah, it's not logical to have to choose out of one group the person you're going to marry, that's true. LOL. That's just the control part again, like, if you marry someone outside the cult, there's a chance that you would leave because your spouse would save you or something LOL, kind of like how Camo and Titanium eventually got out of this cult.
DeleteUgh I can't even imagine like being worried all the time about normal things in life. LOL. It just sounds like a stupid way to live.